The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

13 March 2006

I, Mean Girl

What's scary is that the logic of this proposal is well-nigh impeccable:

If pop culture has taught me one thing in my life, it's that only the opinions of famous people matter. Why else do we let high school dropouts continue to lecture us on foreign affairs?

The fact of the matter is, if a news story breaks about the Guatemalan black market coffee trade, and you just so happen to have a Master's Degree in Guatemalan Coffee Export economics, people will still heed Lindsay Lohan's opinion over yours.

So, if this is the case, why not post as Lindsay Lohan?

It's that simple: change your blogger account to, put one of Ms. Lohan's pictures in your profile, and have at it.

Well, there's one problem, but ...

The only person who will know you aren't actually Lindsay Lohan is Lindsay herself, and she's too busy bringing up her last meal or wrecking her car to pay attention.

Not everyone will fall for your hoax, but if you are convincing enough with your portrayal it should keep you in a steady supply of fanboys to elevate your traffic and potential revenue.

In an era when even respected literary lights can go batshit crazy, this might be just the ticket.

Posted at 4:08 PM to Blogorrhea

It sure could work, and it might be a one way ticket to becoming a famous comic if it's done well. It might also end up with a Linday Lawsuit nightmare, so it'd be best to pick on a celebrity with a good sense of humour or who'd be in on the gag.

Posted by: saskboy at 10:43 PM on 13 March 2006

See? I never should have clicked that last link. The high esteem in which I've always held that particular author has just been dropped from unrecoverable heights.

Posted by: Jennifer at 7:26 AM on 14 March 2006

There is another side to being the faux Lindsey Lohan. She might just thank you profusely for bringing her intellectual capacity out of question and leave you to continue.

Posted by: belhoste at 11:12 AM on 14 March 2006

Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that.

On the other hand, probably neither has she.

Posted by: CGHill at 11:47 AM on 14 March 2006

The faker might be hoping for a lawsuit, as nothing beats being sued by a celebrity in terms of publicity. A friend was sued by Madonna, and it was one of the best things that ever happened to him. (Especially when he won.)

Posted by: Eric Scheie at 8:45 PM on 14 March 2006