The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

12 April 2006

Cambridge face with the Oxford booty

Everything is quantifiable, apparently. Here's the formula for feminine keisterrificness:

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V is the formula that describes the "ideal female ass" in shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry, according to psychology lecturer David Holmes of Manchester Metropolitan University in England:

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

"Honey, does this make my butt look big?"

"I dunno. Let me go find the calculator."

Sir Mix-A-Lot was not available for comment.

(Via Belhoste.)

Addendum, 13 April: Terry notes: "In my humble opinion, the true perfect ass is not the one being evaluated but the one doing the study."

Posted at 7:19 AM to Dyssynergy


TrackBack: 1:16 PM, 24 April 2006
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(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V is the formula that describes the "ideal female ass" in shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry, according to psychology lecturer David Holmes:...[read more]

I'll have to stop looking at 'em, I guess -- I got a "C" in high school algebra.

Posted by: McGehee at 8:35 AM on 12 April 2006