15 May 2006
Cloud 10 or higher
From the Holy Office in deepest Connecticut, an explanation of what's beyond the gates of pearl:
Heaven is a term referring to the ultimate destiny of a certain number of souls. Depending on who you listen to, heaven is either: where all of us will end up (Origen); where many of us will end up (St. Gregory of Nyssa); where some of us will end up (John Calvin); where a small portion of us have, in some sense, already ended up (John of Leyden); where precisely 144,000 of us will end up (Charles Taze Russell); or where Jack Chick will end up (Jack Chick). Theologian Belinda Carlisle once posited that "Ooh, baby, heaven is a place on earth," but explorers combing the globe have yet to confirm this.
Other complicated Christian terms are also explained at this page.
(Poached from the divine Jane Galt.)Posted at 2:14 PM to Immaterial Witness