The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 May 2006

With a certain relish

Jack Bauer calls WFMU's William Berger and explains this very difficult procedure in great detail:

William, this is Jack Bauer, Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit — have you ever cooked hot dogs before? No? Well, don't worry 'cause I'm going to talk you through it. We are dealing with especially volatile materials here — Nathan's Famous Cheddar Cheese Beef Franks, so I need you to follow my instructions to the letter; I don't need to remind you that thousands of lives are at stake, and I imagine that you're pretty hungry. Chloe obtained an extensive file detailing your hunger rages, Mr. Berger, so don't play games with me — you and I both know we haven't a second to waste.

As you may already have surmised, there are three paragraphs to follow.

[Insert "perfect wiener" reference here]

Posted at 11:02 AM to Worth a Fork