The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 May 2006

You can check out anyone you like

But you can never leave:

I got the email from Match.com this afternoon with the Match.com discount, Subject: Someone Wants to See Your Profile!

While there was no potential date in the message, there was a Match.com promo discount with legs: "Just For You! Find love this Memorial Day with a 72-hour FREE trial!"

I'm not doing much this weekend, and like many others, I would like to find love. (Again.) And of course, there's always more research. I clicked through the forms as I ran a few calls. I put "cancel Match.com" on my calendar, and was about to hit "send," with my credit card number as required, when something in the back of my head said to be sure I knew how to cancel Match.com. The notice was on the last sign-up page, in the middle of 4 paragraphs of small type.

"Mail or deliver a signed and dated notice, or send a telegram" to an address in Plano, Texas.

No email. No phone calls, toll free or other. No forms on the site, or the internet for that matter. And, not a single acceptable reason for this. (The phone rep acknowledged it and then went into lilting infinite scripted loop of, "The terms are there and you can decide not to take this promotion, but you sound like you are interested...")

My last experience of this sort — not with a dating site, of course — came when an email informed me that Real SuperPass would be going up by five bucks a month so they could bundle the service with McAfee's security package. I called Bangalore to cancel; the young lady at the other end was utterly flummoxed that I would even consider canceling a subscription that had six months left to run, and she didn't seem to believe that my regard for McAfee is right up there with my regard for bedbugs.

I am paid up through November, so I backed off from the cancellation. For now.

(Via The Consumerist.)

Posted at 1:04 PM to Dyssynergy


"The terms are there and you can decide not to take this promotion, but you sound like you are interested..."

To which the correct reply is, "Not anymore. If you need me, I'll be checking out your competition."

Posted by: McGehee at 2:16 PM on 31 May 2006

Warning will robinson ... Warning! ... My X-Wife has an ad on several of those sites. Always look under the bed for the icepick.

Posted by: ron at 4:12 PM on 31 May 2006

As we all know by now, AOL's schtick is to offer you an additional month of service, free, after which you can call back and cancel. Otherwise, they will bill you again and again and again.....

Posted by: Brian J. at 9:15 PM on 31 May 2006

Your regard for McAfee is exceeded only by mine. And the '05 and '06 versions of NAV sucketh with gigantic footprints and myriad tentacles. After a brief romance with Trend Micro (still a good product) I fell ass-over-tincups for AVG. Best interface I've ever seen on any such products, small footprint, less expensive than the biggies, and it worketh...

Posted by: Winston at 6:27 AM on 1 June 2006

After reading this yesterday, I had nightmares about my 142 year-old Literary Guild membership last night. I love books, but, um, am not in love with the opt out concept.

Posted by: Jennifer at 6:35 AM on 1 June 2006

I think I was a member of them back in the Old Silurian Period.

Posted by: CGHill at 10:55 PM on 3 June 2006