5 June 2006Strange search-engine queries (18)In a week's time, six thousand people visit this site; a lot of them are just looking for something, and some of them are looking for something peculiar. Examples: nude beach security clearance: You must be cleared for at least Topless Secret. emily's pantyhose: They're in the second drawer, left side. instrumental batman: If I remember correctly, it wasn't an instrumental; there was one word. blowjobs in connecticut: I'm sure they exist, but you're asking the wrong person. Lesley Gore wearing sandals: You would smile, too, if she wore them for you. how much r134a is in a 2002 dodge caravan: Probably none in yours, or you wouldn't be asking. Ann Coulter's nude: I can neither confirm nor deny at this time. what happens if you eat expired pillsbury biscuits: Same thing that killed off the Doughgirl: a yeast infection. big political scandal called something-gate: For the last thirty-odd years, that would be almost all of them. Farts Penalty: All your friends move away. Is Taye Diggs Gaye? Actually, I think they cast Jesse L. Martin as Marvin Gaye. windows 98 screen blue screen show fetal error: Moral: Unborn children should not use Windows. the rockstar Bono's illuminati contacts: See your local Fnord dealer for details. Posted at 6:04 AM to You Asked For ItYou know, I have every anti-bot possible built into my code, but still get the occasional search from Yahoo and myspace. Always searching for one keyword. Jennifer. Now I ask you, given that Jennifer is the most common name in the blogosphere, how the heck does it happen that this particular search leads them to ME? Next time, follow the search and see how far down they dug. I've had searches come up where this site was the 730th hit on the list, yet still they came. That's thirty-seven pages of results, at twenty per page, until they got down this far. What's scary to me is that I had to go back only five days to turn up all these. |