The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

7 June 2006

Mere death is no impediment

There is customer retention, and there is — well, this:

Her father passed away recently, and she had to cancel or close all of his various accounts. When she called to cancel his AOL account, they asked her why she was cancelling the account. "It was my father's account, and he died." "Is that the only reason?" was their reply. She was dumbfounded. They did cancel the account, incidentally.

Occasionally dead people (their estates, anyway) are taxed; in some parts of the country, dead people vote; there's no obvious reason why dead people couldn't use AOL. Besides, they never call for tech support.

Posted at 6:15 PM to Dyssynergy


"And why are you cancelling this account?"

"Well, he died."

"...and?"

"And, um, he's ... dead."

"I see. [Pause.] And did his credit cards die, too? His bank accounts? His net worth?"

Posted by: Ian Hamet at 11:02 PM on 7 June 2006

We miss you, Chaz....

Posted by: Dr. Jan at 11:33 PM on 7 June 2006

When I worked at AOL years ago I actually witnessed a person sell a recently dead mans widow the idea of making the account hers ... and she bit. He used her loneliness and confusion to do it ... and he was heralded for it by the "team" leader. The rest of us galley slaves just shook our heads and some of us eventually left... As far as I know this bottom dweller is still a supervisor at AOL ...

Posted by: Ron at 3:25 PM on 9 June 2006