The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

17 June 2006

Tall guy at the far end of the table

"Call me Dad," says Chuck Cohen to his progeny:

One reason I liked being a Dad is that Dad definitely sounds as if the person referred to is younger than the age on his driver's license. Someone who is called "Father" by his children belongs in a Victorian novel. He wears a coat and tie to the dinner table, "harrumphs" a lot, looks disparagingly upon all attempts at levity, and refers to his wife as "Mother." He belongs in a stiffly posed portrait hung above a mantle.

I harrumph a lot, but getting me into a coat and tie usually requires a funeral. And I'm all in favor of that level of informality that stops just short of "breezy."

Still, there are times when "Dad" doesn't seem to fit:

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your dad."

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my dad. Prepare to die."

But if they ever come out with a pain reliever specifically for men — women have Midol and Pamprin and such — I hope they have the temerity to call it "Dadvil."

Posted at 2:22 PM to Next Generation


"Dad" and "Mom" are all very fine in a personal setting, but there is no reason why we should be forced to allay the peculiar fears of old age, frumpiness, and Victorianism of the general populace by using "Dad" and "Mom" in public to refer to generic "fathers" and "mothers." I swear to God if I see one more headline referring to "Moms" this and "Dads" that, I am going to... write another blog comment, I guess.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 4:12 PM on 17 June 2006

I'm reminded of the dog that limps into the salonn, orders a whiskey and sez "I'm a lookin' for the fella that shot my paw."

Posted by: Dwayne "the canoe guy" at 7:39 PM on 17 June 2006