The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 July 2006

Burned by the source

Note to potential pro-life polemicists:

If you want to dramatize your point with quotations from supporters of abortion rights, you might not want to gather those quotations from The Onion.

Just saying.

(Via Caterwauling.)

Posted at 9:01 AM to Life and/or Death


Hm. While it's true that this fellow does come off as humorless and borderline retarded, I can't bring myself to join in with the mocking laughter. Maybe it's because there have been recent examples of this supposedly non-existent "lighthearted" attitude in non-satire publications. Or are the examples of the woman who culled two of her triplets so she wouldn't have to "buy mayonnaise at Costco," and the woman who blamed her abortion on George Bush, now to be flushed down the memory hole?

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 11:06 AM on 9 July 2006

Why, sure. Especially since the second woman says in the first two sentences of her article, "The conservative politics of the Bush administration forced me to have an abortion I didn't want. Well, not literally, but let me explain." In other words, she doesn't "blame her abortion on George W. Bush" at all, as her first sentence makes clear, and then she goes on to explain as promised: the 42-year-old married woman had not inserted her diaphragm in the heat of passion, and she couldn't get emergency contraception to prevent the unlikely pregnancy because her doctor "wouldn't" prescribe it and politics had prevented it from being available over the counter despite overwhelming scientific evidence of its safety. She vastly preferred not to have a pregnancy to end, but as well all know, married women who dare have Teh Sex must be forced to bear children for it.

And the first woman, well, if she was un-Christian enough to have Teh Sex with her boyfriend, then she should be forced by law to birth as many babies as her body could make, right? How dare she presume to think that she gets to choose not only whether she has a child or not but how many children she's forced to carry to term, even if it means giving up her own life and career! If she wants a baby, how dare she not be financially and emotionally prepared to have two or three or seven instead! She should have realized her free will ended the moment she was penetrated!

Cheer up. Maybe God will smote these uppity women. Keep checking The Onion for updates.

Posted by: Matt at 12:00 PM on 9 July 2006

Oh dear. You're right, Matt. No one should ever, ever be forced to face the consequences of thoughtless actions just because they wanted a bit of fun. After all, Teh Fun is more important than anything, right? And of course she didn't blame George Bush for her abortion. She only wrote an entire article complaining about how she ended up having an abortion because policies of George Bush apparently made it more difficult for her to get her mistake-erasing drugs in a timely manner. But that's not like she's blaming George Bush or anything, it's just like, well, like it is his fault, only not really.

Is that how the thinking goes? Because it's been such a long time since I've "thought" like a liberal, I can't really remember all the nuanced twists and turns.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 12:15 PM on 9 July 2006

While I do not agree with abortion as a general "cure" (I do not condone, recommend, or consider it a viable option), I also do not feel that I have any business in anyone else's business in this regard.

"Borderline retarded"? Hardly. Pete is so far beyond the border that it is no longer visible in his rearview mirror.

Posted by: unimpressed at 12:56 PM on 9 July 2006
(I do not condone, recommend, or consider it a viable option), I also do not feel that I have any business in anyone else's business in this regard.

Agreed.

Posted by: Matt at 1:33 PM on 9 July 2006