The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

20 July 2006

Shoe math

No, it doesn't have anything to do with the Brannock Device. Let's say she says you've got, oh, eight inches on her:

Listen. The first time I was standing next to you, it was evening, so I was wearing dressy shoes. All my going-out shoes have about a 3 inch heel. Except my formal shoes, which are higher, but I wouldn't have been wearing any of those. And you were wearing normal inoffensive contemporary men's shoes, which would have had about a 1 inch heel, or we probably wouldn't even be speaking right now. So comparably, that nets me two additional inches. That aren't really mine. And even with the two inches, I probably only came up to the bottom of your nose. Bottom of the nose to the top of the head, probably about half a foot, plus the two inches I shouldn't have had. Eight inches. Give or take.

At least as accurate as the tape measure in my toolbox, and without making that bendy-metal SSPROING! noise either.

Posted at 9:05 PM to Table for One


Wow, I never knew that that device had a name! You have edified my morning.

Posted by: Patti at 8:21 AM on 21 July 2006