16 August 2006
Cracking down on Induhviduals
"Against stupidity," wrote Schiller, "the gods themselves contend in vain." Governments, seeing themselves as the moral equivalent of, if not actually superior to, gods, are missing an opportunity here; why, there are at least 16 steps that could be taken now. A sampling:
"8 Items or Less" line violators will have their number of fingers reduced to 8, for obvious reasons. The government is here to help.
"You Must Have an IQ Greater Than 7 x 24 - 60 to Enter Through This Gate" signage will appear at all public queues, especially at amusement facilities, cinemas and airports. Failure to answer the mathematical equation correctly (and minor variations thereof) within 20 seconds will result in guards immediately repositioning the stupid at the end of the line. Sans kneecaps. Because we just know that there’ll be a dispute about admission fees, payment methods and whether you really do have a "constitutional right" to bring your own, open beer can into the facility.
Woe betide he who inserts parentheses around (24 - 60) and presents himself with an IQ of -252. (Alternatively, he could be appointed to a government job; obviously the qualifications are in place.)
"Induhviduals," you'll remember, is a coinage by Scott Adams, though he originally applied it to people who didn't receive the Dilbert newsletter. It has proven to have far greater application than he imagined.Posted at 5:07 PM to Dyssynergy