The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

28 August 2006

Throw it back

The Oklahoman's Mr. Monday sees the demotion of Pluto as an opening:

You're bopping around the cold suburbs of cosmos, minding your interstellar beeswax, when you get a call.

It's those bullies from down the road — Jupiter, Saturn, Earth — and they want you to know you're out. You're too small, a Solar System pip-squeak. They've demoted you to the "dwarf planets." It's you, a couple of chunky rocks and a new gal by the name of UB313.

So, that was easy, right?

How can you can kick a planet to the curb in a week and still have Baylor in the Big 12?

And while we're at it, how about those Royals?

Since 2000, the Royals have lost 571 games, plus another 85 this year. They are on pace to lose so many games that baseball will cease to exist in 10 years.

I question this assertion. Every game the Royals lose, some other team presumably wins. (Although that other team certainly isn't Baylor.)

Posted at 9:19 AM to Dyssynergy


Every game the Royals lose, some other team presumably wins.

Seriously. Does beating the Royals really qualify as winning? Come on.

Posted by: McGehee at 10:55 AM on 28 August 2006

Nine, bitches!

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 10:02 PM on 29 August 2006