And oh, what heights we’ll hit
MissQ is not at all used to serious heels:
This week I ordered a beautiful pair of pumps to wear when I marry Mr. Perfect. Wearing sensible shoes on a special occasion is simply out of the question. Every girl knows that high heels make our legs look fabulous and since there will be photos, flats are not an option. I really didn’t even think twice about how high they were when I ordered them. Yesterday they arrived at my doorstep. They are 4½ inches high. Which is pretty freakin’ high. I put them on and wobbled around the living room. I am really not sure I can walk in these. I Googled tips for walking in 4½ inch heels and the only advice I found was on transvestite websites. Apparently, you really do have to have cojones to attempt to wear these things.
Either she didn’t come here, or that twenty-year-old picture of me in the pink jumper is still floating around.
Regardless, here’s the technique, as described by a born-double-X-chromosome woman:
- Keep your legs close together.
- Put one foot directly in front of the other.
- Take short steps; don’t be in a hurry!
Meanwhile, MissQ continues to work on it:
After a little practice, I could almost walk on the carpet or on the cement sidewalk but the wood floor was too slippery to walk unless both my heel and toe came down simultaneously. This can be accomplished by either bending your knees like Pee Wee Herman dancing across the bar to “Tequila” (not attractive) or walking sideways like a jazz chasse step (not dignified). Maybe I should dig out my old tap shoes and twirling baton, light that baby on fire and really make an entrance?
Actually, I like that idea, but weddings tend to be full of flammable stuff.
Tatyana »
31 July 2010 · 8:42 am
One look at the picture on Tina below and you could see those rules are only good for a bow-legged cavalry rider who is also a sailboat sailor. Male, naturally.