Strange search-engine queries (266)

Rather a lot of people show up at Yahoo! Answers with desperate cries of “How do I clear my browser history?” It’s not that difficult, generally, but it ignores the other half of the equation: what happens to your server-side history? The answer: if it’s marginally amusing and it landed somewhere in this domain, it’s right here.

texico oil salesmen on t.v. said goaway kid you bother me:  What did you expect? They’re the men of Texaco; they’ll kick your ass to Mexico.

how sincere was karla faye tucker’s conversion:  The state of her heart is known only to God, and He’s under no obligation to reveal the details.

ethical violation in milligram:  Governmental ethical violations are measured in metric tons.

ready to skedaddle:  Make sure you fill out form 2395 (Federal Report of Proposed Skedaddlement) before you go.

fruit ninja slicesound gone:  Well, see, that’s the thing about ninjas: you never actually see them go.

do any original parts in the 2002 mazda 626 have a life time warrety:  No. And if one did, it wouldn’t be the one that broke just now.

U.S. to buy impotence:  Must be a State Department deal.

levittra and ovarian can:  Can what? Out with it, man!

mike rowe hatless:  Well, it’s a start. There are women out there who’d like to see him shirtless, maybe even pantless.

robin meade, blurred cleavage:  Maybe she’s moving too fast for you to freeze the frame.

how long can a man long sexually:  Some of us have been longing for a long time.

canada generic:  Saves you money on your health-care costs, or would if you had any.

what is the adverb form of criminal:  Congressionally.





6 comments

  1. Do You Come with the Car? »

    7 March 2011 · 7:07 am

    Or shirtless AND pantsless, as the case may be.

  2. Tatyana »

    7 March 2011 · 7:21 am

    do I detect “government” slowly becoming a term of derision here?
    ts-ts-ts

    [brilliant, as usual, Chaz. especially the last one]

  3. McGehee »

    7 March 2011 · 7:40 am

    The “levittra” string reminds me of a bad joke I’ll pretend I didn’t make up and spring on my wife a couple of weeks ago: If elderly newlyweds in America go to Viagra Falls, do their Australian counterparts go to Cialis Springs?

  4. CT »

    7 March 2011 · 8:05 am

    You’re missing the *other* other half of the “How do I clear my browser history?” question, which is why they’re so desperate to clear it away. Which we all know, since Private Browsing was quickly nicknamed “P0rn Mode”…

  5. Dan B »

    7 March 2011 · 5:26 pm

    > texico oil salesmen on t.v. said goaway kid you bother me

    I guess they don’t remember WC Fields.

  6. CGHill »

    7 March 2011 · 5:56 pm

    A lot of people don’t even remember Strawberry Fields.

    Side note: The Love Generation, a project of singers John and Tom Bahler, once issued a song called “W. C. Fields,” which had nothing whatever to do with the man himself — unlike, say, Jimmy Webb’s “P. F. Sloan,” beautifully covered by Jennifer Warnes, or perhaps Warpaint’s “Billie Holiday.”

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