It was a complicated mission: sneak into the place where the server logs are kept, secure a list of all the intel being sought, then depart quickly. And should anyone get in the way — well, I hear Davy Jones has some extra locker space these days.
unhandy shoes: It could be worse. Suppose they were unfooty?
is gender reassignment surgery covered on insurance: Usually not, though I’d like to see them claim that it’s a pre-existing condition.
carly foulkes gained weight: I blame AT&T, but then I blame everything on AT&T.
inverse gentrification: See also “Detroit,” or maybe “Sudan.”
nude for yogurt advertising in korea 2003: It occurs to me that I have never seen anyone eating yogurt while nude.
does christine o’donnell weigh the same as a duck: I’m not even sure she’s made out of wood.
how did america adopt oatmeal: A great outpouring of compassion; they couldn’t very well just leave it there sitting in the bowl, now could they?
when a man like mutt lange says he grew apart from his wife does that mean they are no longer sexually active? Said Shania: “That don’t impress me much.”
If you accidentally spill phosphorus-32 onto your show, how long would it take before 99.9% of the material has decayed so that you can safely wear the shoes again: Phosphorus-32 has a half-life of 14.3 days, so technically, about three months. However, we’re talking phosphorus here, so the shoes are probably ruined anyway.
is dwayne one syllable: It increases 0.06 syllable for each degree of latitude south. By the time you get to, say, Tallahassee, it’s nearly two syllables.
can two hearts sync: Yes, if one of them isn’t mine.