Warning signs

As with any other human activity, there are risks involved with visiting a clothing-optional beach: sunburn, getting sand in places where sand ought not to be, and perhaps the most exasperating of all:

It’s usually a man who arrives with no book, no cooler, and most tellingly, no sunscreen. Clearly he intends to stay just long enough to snap some nude photos.

In days of old, when cameras were large and easily spotted at a distance, this wasn’t such a big deal: the “visitor” would be approached and his film would be flung into the sea. This sort of confrontation is discouraged these days, and besides, rather a lot of these places are under Federal jurisdiction, where both nudity and photography are legal.

A friend of mine who visited a beach in Florida this year says she wasn’t accosted by photographers, but she was bothered a bit by one fellow who parked himself in her line of sight and then proceeded to apply SPF 800 to his twig and berries — in increments of 8 or 16 — while utterly neglecting the rest of his person.

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