Sunset 1, British Empire 0
Her Majesty’s Government has apparently been screwing around with the once-sacrosanct HP Sauce:
[T]he age-old recipe has been secretly altered at the request of Government health chiefs.
Heinz, the American company which bought the famous British brand in 2005, has changed the celebrated concoction that includes tomatoes, malt vinegar, molasses, dates, tamarind and secret spices to reduce the salt content.
The previous version of the brown sauce, which has become synonymous with fry-up breakfasts and bacon sandwiches, used to contain 2.1g of salt per 100g. The new version contains just 1.3g.
This is a far more grievous offence (as they say over there) than moving HP production to the freaking Netherlands. And of course, there’s a punchline:
Health experts claim this measure will save the NHS £46 million a year within three years and prevent more than 4,000 premature deaths a year.
But as a result of the decrease in salt in the old sauce, the new line has more calories and carbohydrates.
And there goes a healthy — so to speak — percentage of claimed savings and of allegedly-averted “premature deaths.” (What, you didn’t think they were going to cut the salt and do nothing else, did you?) So much for the “health experts.” It’s probably too late for Britain, but I’ll happily support this Constitutional amendment on our side of the pond:
Section 1. The right of an American citizen to eat whatever he goddamn well pleases shall not be infringed.
Section 2. What the hell do you need a Section 2 for?
(Based on a more subtle rant by Bayou Renaissance Man.)
Addendum: Sodium!
Joseph Hertzlinger »
14 September 2011 · 11:45 pm
Hannibal Lecter and Sweeney Todd approve.