Dew diligence

This seems rather cut and dried:

Madison County Circuit Judge Dennis Ruth on Dec. 14 continued a case management conference until PepsiCo’s motion to dismiss is heard in a lawsuit claiming a mouse was found in a can of Mountain Dew.

The defendant is granted 28 days or until Jan. 11 to answer or otherwise plead the plaintiff’s second amended complaint.

Until you get to this part:

Pepsi denies [Ronald] Ball’s claims, and has moved to dismiss the case.

In support of that move, Pepsi cited expert testimony that the mouse would have dissolved in the soda had it been in the can from the time of its bottling until the day the plaintiff drank it.

Got that, Ron? At worst, you would have had a 12-ounce can of presweetened mouse juice. Very thick mouse juice. With caffeine.

(Via Gizmodo.)







5 comments

  1. Guy S »

    3 January 2012 · 7:14 pm

    Wondeer if it would have gone good with cheese?

  2. Luther »

    3 January 2012 · 9:26 pm

    “presweetened mouse juice”

    A disgusting image in so many ways, Chas. Good job.

    Though, in my youth, eons ago, I was knowledgeable of the danger to a slice of bacon being submerged in a glass of Coke. Actually witnessed such.

    Ron, alas, appears to have hope that all are as ignorant of history as he.

    Sadly, he may be correct, amongst a jury of his peers.

  3. Steve B »

    4 January 2012 · 5:04 am

    That’s really kind of a disturbing thought. I am voluntarily drinking a beverage which the company itself asserts could completely dissolve a mouse.

    Sounds kind of “Muahahahaha!”

  4. McGehee »

    4 January 2012 · 8:30 am

    That which doesn’t dissolve me only makes me more awake. And just a wee bit gassy.

  5. Jeffro »

    4 January 2012 · 8:15 pm

    Mouse Juice might sell if it’s sold as healthy. Perhaps “Rodent Fortified” might work better as a sales description.

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