Gets her through her busy day
George Carlin used to deride the very concept of pain pills: “I already have pain! I need relief pills!”
Undoubtedly much to the annoyance of the Warriors on Drugs, some of those tabs actually deliver the goods:
My eight-day drug regime has predominately consisted of the generic drugstore variety; Nyquil, decongestants, antihistamines, cough syrup, aspirin, Vicks. Today I kicked it up a notch with a modest amount of vicodin, the modern-day version of mother’s little helper. What a difference a script makes! I spent two hours shopping for birthday gifts and a grand dinner, cleaned the house (no small task after many days of gross neglect), herded boys after school, prepped the meal, wrapped presents and found myself singing as I tucked clean sheets on the bed.
My hair is gorgeous, legs are shaved, the make-up is beautiful and these gorgeous peep-toe stiletto heels feel like they were meant to be worn forever.
“What a drag it is getting old,” sang Sir Mick when he was twenty-three and never imagined anyone would ever refer to him as Sir Mick. Then again, he was probably making reference to Nembutals, the sort found in Mr Murphy’s overalls.
Amusingly, an advisory panel once suggested the FDA take Vicodin and its ilk off the market because the acetaminophen component — not the opioid, mind you, but the stuff like Tylenol — was a threat to the nation’s livers. Eminem and House, you’ll note, are still alive and kicking; and I have to figure that anything that makes stilettos “feel like they were meant to be worn forever” is a genuine boon. Not that you can convince Chuck Schumer of this, of course.
Steve B »
11 January 2012 · 2:02 am
Better living through pharmocology.
CGHill »
11 January 2012 · 6:57 am
Indeed. I suppose there were times when chomping on a piece of birch bark might have been good for what ailed you, but nowadays it’s a pharmacological cornucopia, and some of these drugs might not actually kill you.