Whackers tallied

What goes around comes around, we are told, and Kate Harding is predicting the eventual return of the unenhanced, reasonably sized, never-even-once-exposed-to-pharma-spam dingus, though she concedes that for the moment this is not exactly a burning issue:

Most people are too busy enjoying the current era of well-rounded male characters and very little schlong in their mainstream cinema to give a thought to any alternative. In this regard, they are most selfish. After all, practically every movie has a pair of naked tits on a two-dimensional lady character in it these days, and if I know anything about equality, that means we should all be clamoring for more wooden male characters, if you get my drift.

Besides, artificial embiggenment is a health hazard:

MayoClinic.com says that penile implants carry numerous risks, including that “in some semirigid devices, internal parts can break down over time. In inflatable devices, fluid can leak or the pump device can fail.” Yikes!

That’s enough of a quote for the Yikes! of me.

From my standpoint, as it were, I think increasing the peen frequency in motion pictures would produce two salutary results: it would provide eye candy for Ms Harding and her friends — not an inconsiderable virtue, that — and it just might dissuade J. Random Perv from distributing low-res photos of his low-rent junk from his high-speed mobile device. Guys, for the most part, hate the competition, unless they’re certain they’re going to win.

(Via this nudiarist tweet.)

Addendum: I am informed by an Extremely Reliable Source that Ms Harding was poking fun at a Slate piece by Simon Doonan, specifically this one.


  1. fillyjonk »

    21 January 2012 · 7:27 am

    Uh, yeah, I’d hope it was poking fun…

    that said, most of the movies I watch these days are pre-1965 releases replayed on TCM. And I have to say, as much as I might enjoy Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart, I never gave a thought to what they might have been “packin’.”

    I hope I don’t now.

  2. McGehee »

    21 January 2012 · 9:16 am

    Poking is always fun.

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