Strange search-engine queries (327)

The recipe for this Monday-morning breakfast feature: Select eight to 12 particularly silly search strings from the previous week’s system logs. Add snarky commentary as needed. Present around 7 am, give or take half an hour. Goes well with: cereal, sausage, that first desperately-needed cup of coffee. Does not go well with: dachshunds.

is it friday:  No. It’s Monday. Now move along.

a sedan anvil:  This attempt by Acme metallurgists to produce an anvil that could be carried by four men, thereby making it at least theoretically portable, failed when they couldn’t find four men who could carry it.

what does tote that barge mean:  Obviously asked by someone whose body has never been aching and/or wracked with pain.

what does it mean “i have scaled these city walls”:  I managed to climb up one side and down the other, only to be with you, and now my body is aching and wracked with pain.

Girls hunting with bow in undergarments:  How the bow got into their undergarments, they’ll never know.

zooeymania:  How we’re supposed to get into her undergarments, we’ll never know.

what is faith hill’s inseam measurement:  How generous of you to offer to make pants for her.

what looks nice with orange shoes:  Faith Hill in flared pants.

hell no button:  Something sorely lacking in most dialog boxes.

paranoia is good:  Which one of my enemies sent you here with that?

which vehicles have dip sticks:  At any random club on a Saturday night, probably all of them.





3 comments

  1. McGehee »

    7 May 2012 · 8:36 am

    which vehicles have dip sticks:  At any random club on a Saturday night, probably all of them.

    Or, more than half of the vehicles on the afternoon commute.

  2. canadienne »

    7 May 2012 · 12:53 pm

    I’m totally going to make an app with a “HELL, no” button.

  3. CGHill »

    7 May 2012 · 5:24 pm

    I totally approve of this move.

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