Call her Red, and then stop there

Otherwise, you’ll just encourage more of the same:

Dawn McManus, 41, promised to change her name to encourage fundraising for her charity, Red Dreams, which was set up after the death of her son.

She believes her new name — including the charity’s name and people it has helped — could be the world’s longest.

Suppose it’s not. Is she going to amend the deed poll to tack on a few extra letters?

Oh, you wanted the gory details. Fine, then:

The former Mrs McManus is now called Red Wacky League Antlez Broke the Stereo Neon Tide Bring Back Honesty Coalition Feedback Hand of Aces Keep Going Captain Let’s Pretend Lost State of Dance Paper Taxis Lunar Road Up Down Strange All and I Neon Sheep Eve Hornby Faye Bradley AJ Wilde Michael Rice Dion Watts Matthew Appleyard John Ashurst Lauren Swales Zoe Angus Jaspreet Singh Emma Matthews Nicola Brown Leanne Pickering Victoria Davies Rachel Burnside Gil Parker Freya Watson Alisha Watts James Pearson Jacob Sotheran Darley Beth Lowery Jasmine Hewitt Chloe Gibson Molly Farquhar Lewis Murphy Abbie Coulson Nick Davies Harvey Parker Kyran Williamson Michael Anderson Bethany Murray Sophie Hamilton Amy Wilkins Emma Simpson Liam Wales Jacob Bartram Alex Hooks Rebecca Miller Caitlin Miller Sean McCloskey Dominic Parker Abbey Sharpe Elena Larkin Rebecca Simpson Nick Dixon Abbie Farrelly Liam Grieves Casey Smith Liam Downing Ben Wignall Elizabeth Hann Danielle Walker Lauren Glen James Johnson Ben Ervine Kate Burton James Hudson Daniel Mayes Matthew Kitching Josh Bennett Evolution Dreams.

This includes three iterations of “James,” two of “Jacob,” two of “Davies,” two of “Miller,” and two of “Rebecca.”

There is no indication that Red will be appearing as a guest on a Fiona Apple album, but she should have no trouble ousting long-standing Silly Party candidate Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel.

(Via CBC.)





6 comments

  1. nightfly »

    8 May 2012 · 1:52 pm

    Oh Woman-who-up-until-recently-was-called-Ni, what task do you ask of us?

  2. Don Mecoy »

    8 May 2012 · 2:40 pm

    Two instances of Neon and not a solitary F’tang strikes me as unimaginative.

  3. fillyjonk »

    8 May 2012 · 6:01 pm

    I’m trying really hard, but ultimately failing, to not make some disparaging remark about the Special and Unique Snowflakes of our world.

    Or, to use a played-out joke: “Red whatever-your-name-is, I’m’a let you finish, but first, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince was the best name-change ever”

  4. Brett »

    8 May 2012 · 6:16 pm

    Well, at least ya doesn’t has to call her Mr. Johnson…

  5. canadienne »

    10 May 2012 · 12:52 am

    One of my favourite things about this blog is the ease with which you can fit in obscure Monty Python references.

  6. McGehee »

    10 May 2012 · 7:43 pm

    I got two-thirds of the way through that name before all of the names looked like “Spam.”

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