Unequally revoked

Driving, we are always told by the state Department of Always Telling Us Things, is a privilege, not a right. I’m okay with that. But maybe it’s a privilege too seldom withdrawn:

If you can’t keep up with traffic, you don’t deserve to drive. If you can’t properly yield, you don’t deserve to drive. If you try to bully your way into traffic, nearly taking the nose off of the car you cut off and the bumper of the car you get in behind, you don’t deserve to drive. If you can’t close the TWENTY car length gap between you and the person in front of you, but insist on driving 30 mph on the interstate because the other two lanes next to you are truly that backed up and are going that speed, you don’t deserve to drive.

I think I’ve seen these people, and no, I wouldn’t mind if their privileges were withdrawn.

This, though, seems a trifle strong:

You should have your tires shot out, causing you to spin wildly into the cement guard rails, crashing, and then having your body flung from the vehicle, thoroughly maiming you, but doing no fatal damage.

I mean, all four tires? Come on.





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