Mitt “Mitt” Romney has anointed Wisconsin Congressman and legendary [choose one] dreamboat/douchecanoe Paul “Hey Girl” Ryan as the offical winner of the 2012 Republican Veepstakes, probably not, I suspect, because of the something-less-than-ubiquitous #GiveUsRyan hashtag, but simply because he wanted to balance the ticket with a specific appeal to … um, to whom exactly? It certainly isn’t cheapskates:
While the press paints him as some maverick Ebenezer Scrooge for the budgetary Band-Aid he proposed slapping on our sucking fiscal chest wound, in reality, Ryan’s toes are firmly on the party line: he voted for Medicare Part D, TARP, auto industry bailouts, and the rest of the whole free-spending financial firehose that’s tried to float the ship of state on a fresh tide of fiat currency.
The dynamic, as it plays out, will veer away from those financial matters rather quickly, leaving a scenario worthy of an old UPN sitcom: a couple of colorless organization men versus a petulant child and his demented but lovable uncle. Bring on 2016 already.