A couple of items from a previously undisclosed list of Final Instructions, posted despite the fact that the writer is not actually dead:
Don’t jump to conclusions about the events leading up to my death. Just take the actual story and embellish it in a way that makes you look good. Make it about you. Don’t tell work I’m dead. Let them think I just stopped showing up. See how long it takes them to fire me. When they do, show them the obituary and yell PSYCH!
I should definitely swipe some of these in advance of my own demise.