A smuttering of pros

The shortlist for the 2012 Bad Sex Awards has been unveiled, and the Guardian’s critic seems most impressed by the absence of two particular writers:

The two authors heavily tipped to take this year’s most coveted and dreaded literary prize have failed to make the shortlist. Neither J. K. Rowling, for her first adult novel [The Casual Vacancy], nor E. L. James for her Fifty Shades trilogy, will be adding the bad sex trophy to their mantelpieces.

By comparison, the writers who did make the list are given short, indeed miniscule, shrift, even second-time nominee Tom Wolfe, who earned his spot on the list for this passage from Back to Blood:

Now his big generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips and maw — all this without a word.

If you ask me, Wolfe has a clopfic just waiting in the wings. (Which, if it’s truly in the wings, would have to involve two pegasi.)

(Via languagehat.)


  1. Tatyana »

    23 November 2012 · 3:43 pm

    ah, now your inexplicable infatuation makes a bit more sense

  2. CGHill »

    23 November 2012 · 4:27 pm

    It’s more explicable in cultural terms than in sexual ones. Not that I have any interesting things to say regarding either.

  3. Tatyana »

    23 November 2012 · 5:36 pm

    You already did: expanded my vocabulary and taxonomy of fetishes, for starters.

  4. CGHill »

    23 November 2012 · 6:27 pm

    That, of course, is an inevitable consequence of the infamous Rule 34: anything can be rendered smutty.

  5. fillyjonk »

    24 November 2012 · 4:39 pm

    Oh, Rowling’s new novel has sex scenes? Ick. (Crosses that one off her “might be interesting to read lists). Though I agree that Wolfe bit is truly icky.

  6. CGHill »

    24 November 2012 · 6:02 pm

    I don’t think I could write a good sex scene if I tried. (I’m not even sure I could write a bad one, the squick factor being what it is.)

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