A favorite from the “It is written” file, by Alice Kahn: “For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.”

Morgan Freeberg explores similar turf on your desktop:

I’m seeing a lot of job postings for programmers in C#, .NET, Java. So … web development. And when I consume the web, what new technology do I see being developed, you know, on the web? Advertisements. Popup windows. Videos that auto-play, with sound and music. Little applets and widgets that wait until you’ve managed to call up the article you wanted to read … and then explode in your face with useless bits of nonsense. Refinance your house, pull in those chicks with some testosterone, make your dick bigger. Obama wants to send you back to school, find out if you qualify.

Which goes back to an earlier statement of his:

I swear, if we could leverage technology to actually do productive things, as efficiently as we can leverage technology to go bothering each other, by this time we would have journeyed off to the brightest star in the Sirius constellation, dragged it back here in a great big net, and ground it up in a giant food processor to make a delightful sweetening powder for our corn flakes.

Actually, Sirius is the star, Canis Major the constellation, but I get the idea.


  1. Roger Green »

    30 November 2012 · 7:52 am

    I hate autoplay music. I HATE AUTOPLAY VIDEOS. For the record.

  2. fillyjonk »

    30 November 2012 · 8:54 am

    I second Roger on the hatred of autoplay.

    I also tend to hate those sites that have cursors that change shape (into something the site owner likes) or drop simulated confetti as you move it around the screen.

    It also occurs to me that some fifty years hence, there may well be an update of Mad Men that features web programmers who spend their days figuring out new and different ways to figuratively explode stuff in the faces of website users. That thought does not please me, even if I’d be unlikely to still be here when the show came out.

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