Letting things slide

Cue Jack Jones and “Wives and Lovers,” and hear the Hyacinth Girl:

I know a lot of girls who think that it is their right and prerogative to relax their standards a bit after they’ve “secured” a male, and they could not be more wrong. You don’t have to maintain your birth weight throughout your entire life, or even look as “good” as you did in high school (I am so much better looking in my thirties than I was in my teens), but acting like you give a shit whether your partner finds you attractive is imperative. It’s a matter of respect. It says, “I still care what you think.” But a lot of women don’t really care what their partner thinks after a certain point, because a lot of women in our society feel they are entitled to do whatever the hell they want, and that no one — not even their partner — can say otherwise.

Then again, one could invert the gender references without necessarily changing the validity of the observation: Mr Davenport J. Spud, clutching his beer and watching the Bengals, is surely no more appealing than the becurlered hausfrau in the flannel robe.

And I suspect that if I’d maintained my birth weight — around 4 kg — for longer than a few months, I’d never have seen my first birthday, let alone my fifty-ninth.


  1. GradualDazzle »

    9 December 2012 · 7:17 pm

    I suspect that if he actually noticed or cared or showed a bit of enthusiasm, I might be more inclined to, as it were, “give a shit.”

  2. Nicole »

    9 December 2012 · 8:47 pm

    What GradualDazzle said. :) And everyone’s relationships are different. Despite how often we lump “men” and “women” into broad categories, each of us have our own things that make us tick. And what works for one couple (curlers & beer gut) may not work for another (high heels & 3 piece suits). I’d much prefer he and I both acted as though we gave a shit about ourselves and had respect for ourselves. For us, happy with ourselves = happy with each other. Again, though, everyone’s different. :)

  3. McGehee »

    10 December 2012 · 8:23 am

    Don’t hate me because I and my wife of 18 years still have fun together.

    About the only reason I’m not Davenport J. Spud is, I have a recliner; and she’s not a becurlered hausfrau only because never wears curlers. And yet…

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