Once again, it’s that time of year:
Classic rock radio stations both on terrestrial and satellite radio will present their “Greatest Rock Songs of All Time” list, also known as “Why Do We Even Have You Send In Your Votes When The List Is The Same Every New Year’s Eve?” holiday playlist. You know, the one where the listeners send in their top five or ten classic rock songs, the station tallies up the votes and you get a bunch of people rocking into New Year’s Eve to “Stairway to Heaven.” Sometimes a new song will poke its head into the list but more often than not it’s something like Nickelback, which tells you all you need to know about the people sending in their ballots.
Is there anyone over the age of twelve who does not already have a copy of “Stairway to Heaven”? The older ones probably ponied up for the fourth Zeppelin album, the younger ones probably heisted it from some Web site with “mp3” in its URL; but regardless of demographic, nobody can possibly have been waiting a whole year to hear this drippy Druid chestnut.
If I have to count down to the New Year with classic rock, I’m starting at 11:51:30 pm on the 31st, with a single song which, albeit in butchered form, was actually issued as a single, which “Stairway” generally wasn’t, except for a handful of DJ promo 45s that ends with a proper burst of noise instead of a plaintive solo voice lost in the dropping of the ball. Meet the new year, same as the old year.