Avoiding the fiscal cliff

The lovely and talented E. M. Zanotti, hoping to ward off Complete Financial Collapse, proposes several revenue-enhancement measures:

  • $10 tax everytime someone uses the phrase, “my bad.”
  • 20% penalty tax on anyone who ordered an apple martini after 1998.
  • 40% tax on anyone who buys World Series, Super Bowl, Stanley Cup winners’ merchandise post-facto. Double if Heat or Yankees win.
  • $100 penalty on anyone who uses a Bluetooth earpiece.
  • Tribal tattoo? $30 per year tax. Tramp Stamp? $50. Double if it’s a butterfly.
  • 50% additional income tax on anyone listing their primary occupation as “reality television star.”
  • $1000 penalty for every unnecessarily tinted car window.
  • Immediate institution of the Axe Body Spray Tax.

Read the whole list under the hashtag #emilysfiscalcliffsolutions.







1 comment

  1. fillyjonk »

    14 December 2012 · 5:56 pm

    Bwah.

    Several of those, I will note, would be part of my fiscal plan for the world, were I suddenly to be made Benevolent Dictatrix. Especially the Axe body spray one.

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