In search of rapport

We’re not going to see Stephen Colbert as the next Senator from South Carolina, and that’s a shame, since it would set such an appealing precedent:

[I]f Colbert were selected, that would be the end of his boring television show, because Comedy Central would have to report it as an in-kind campaign contribution and South Carolinians might expect their Senator to be somewhere near the Capitol building instead of in makeup getting ready to go on set.

That’s a temptation that could get out of hand, though. Governors everywhere might decide to help out the television viewing public by appointing the members of the all-heat, no-light brigade to serve out unfinished legislative terms. Senator O’Reilly. Representative Matthews. Representative Sharpton. Senator O’Donnell. Senator Hannity. Lieutenant Governor Olbermann (because seriously, there are some folks even the U.S. Senate shouldn’t take). Commissioner of Waste Disposal Behar (a lifetime appointment)! Insurance Commissioner Penn (because I think Spicoli was less of an act than he’d like us to believe and because it would be fun watching the numbers make his widdle eyes scrunch up in confusion).

A downside, you say?

You may say that this would create chaos in state and federal government as all of these underqualified dunderheads were put in positions for which they are in no way qualified and in which they are unlikely to succeed. To which I say, how would we notice?

So put me down in favor of Senator Colbert, despite the fact that he attended Porter-Gaud. Farging Cyclone.

1 comment

  1. Tatyana »

    16 December 2012 · 2:28 pm

    Yep. With exception: Sharpton is already a clown AND a sen.

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