Strange search-engine queries (360)

NORAD hasn’t begun Operation Sleigh Tracking for this year just yet, so I’m sure they won’t mind if I throw in a bit of stuff from last week’s search logs. (And if they do mind, let’s hope I’m still here next week.)

BUICK XP FIX IT:  Sorry, you’ll have to upgrade to Buick Eight.

monophonic stereo love:  Otherwise known as a ménage à trois, deux at a time.

naked afl-cio slut whores sucking congress:  Which is not to say that Congress doesn’t suck on its own.

“never going back” with mama cass:  Aw, come on. She was a charming dinner companion, albeit a pricey one.

Guys with long love tools always win – vinaigrette banyan denominational hustings:  And all this time they thought they were going to get to do the horizontal bop.

what are considered nice legs:  If you have to ask, you have no business looking.

devon building looks like a drill bit:  Told you so.

southern conservative retrosexual real man and cowboy from Texas:  You might want to get in line now, while the breed is still in existence.

pony mr paul:  He’s the one that doesn’t eat fish sticks.

effusive fake:  For example: Elizabeth Warren’s childhood memories of powwows.

the blank beneath my wings:  That’s where the motors used to be. But don’t worry; you can still glide all the way to the crash site.

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