Don’t let Bloomberg find out

A phytobezoar is a mass of fibrous plant material trapped in the stomach because it resists the normal digestive process. (Major offender: persimmon skins.) Several treatments exist, but I suspect the most cost-effective one is this:

New research has shown that Coca-Cola has a success rate of more than 90 per cent in treating the condition.

This is because it has chemical ingredients that do a similar job to gastric acid — in helping to digest fibre — while the bubbles help speed up the process.

Of course, if this catches on as a standard treatment, the 1.25-liter bottle that sells for 98 cents at the Hy-Vee will be billed to your health-insurance carrier to the tune of $600 or so.

(Via Interested-Participant.)







6 comments

  1. sya »

    11 January 2013 · 6:57 pm

    It’s come full circle! Coca Cola was originally intended as a medicine.

  2. CGHill »

    11 January 2013 · 8:51 pm

    Yep. Recommended for all manner of things, some of which it might have actually ameliorated — though I don’t think it’s quite up to breaking an addiction to morphine.

  3. hatless in hattiesburg »

    12 January 2013 · 3:14 am

    …and look forward to soda shortages during persimmon season ;)

  4. fillyjonk »

    12 January 2013 · 8:59 am

    I vaguely remember that the bezoar of a goat was considered a good preventative/cure for some condition. Can’t remember what now, but the word “bezoar” stuck with me. (Google is your friend. It’s poisoning.)

  5. fillyjonk »

    12 January 2013 · 9:00 am

    And now I wonder, given my current Rainbow Dash diet of 90% vegetables (or at least it seems like that): am I going to have to worry about developing a bezoar?

  6. Baby M »

    14 January 2013 · 7:11 am

    “Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.”

    –Daffy Duck

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