Where do I apply?

On my Facebook page, I describe my position as “Lead Lackey.” There being no subordinate lackeys, or minions even, this is not particularly impressive. Then again, I wasn’t smart enough to get the Chinese to do the scut work for me:

[A] U.S. developer actually did find a way to fool everyone at his company into thinking he was working, while in fact outsourcing his entire job to China.

Andrew Valentine wrote up the case study for Verizon, and the story apparently caused such a furor it temporarily crashed the Verizon servers.

Eventually the loafer was caught:

[T]he BBC notes the ingenious scam came to light after the employee’s company asked for an audit to investigate “anomalous activity on its virtual private network (VPN) logs” that pointed to an active VPN connection between Shenyang, China, and the employee’s workstation that appeared to be operational for months.

Should have had his flunky (or flunkies) work up a floating botnet to blur the trail, if you ask me.

(Trini sent me this, knowing what it would do to my blood pressure.)


  1. Tatyana »

    18 January 2013 · 9:46 am

    How, in principle, it differs from what employers do – signing out “working visas” for their hires from Korea, Taiwan and China and getting them to plow in the offices as “freelancers” w/ no benefits and paying them 30%-50% of market wages? They get workers who don’t ask questions, no – who do not talk at all; will do their utmost best in flattering their bosses (I am trying to censor myself here, you understand), will gladly work 60-hr work weeks with no overtime pay and in addition will spy on their co-workers for free. What’s not to like? The guy just adopted the practice of “delegating” – as corporate-speak has it.

  2. fillyjonk »

    18 January 2013 · 9:50 am

    I heard that on the radio and laughed, because there was a plot of “Regular Show” not all that unlike it. (Well, except for the fact that the otter that Rigby hired to do his work started morphing into Rigby and tried to take over his life….)

    I don’t know. As much as I love the Internet I think paying someone else to do my job and then me sitting in my office surfing all day would be really depressing. (Also, when you, you know, TEACH, it’s kind of hard to foist off a substitute you on other people)

  3. Tatyana »

    18 January 2013 · 10:11 am

    FJ: “teach” – no, but “research and then write scientific article”?

  4. Roger Green »

    18 January 2013 · 10:17 am

    It’s exploitation. I’m surprised Verizon didn’t reward his savvy.

  5. fillyjonk »

    18 January 2013 · 10:25 am

    Well, hm. The research thing is a greyer area. I was going to say, “Yeah, only if I wanted to be figuratively drummed out of the profession when caught” but I have heard of enough cases of profs who stole part or all of their students’ research and published it, sometimes without even acknowledging the students’ contributions.

    If I could pay someone to REWRITE and RESUBMIT articles, hm, I’d consider that. I like writing but I hate the endless game of rewrites.

  6. McGehee »

    18 January 2013 · 10:25 am

    Odd that people (not in here, out there) who are so upset about outsourcing work to foreigners who stay in their own countries, are so happy to let millions of jobs be insourced to foreigners who enter our country illegally.

    Odd, that is, in the sense of “utterly predictable.”

  7. LeeAnn »

    19 January 2013 · 10:55 am

    Apparently I’ve been doing it wrong. I talked Monkey into going to work for me so I could stay home and surf Chinese pictures.

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