Low-speed spam

Not all scammers send you email:

Saturday I got a hand addressed/hand stamped envelope at home telling me I won 2 airline tickets. The letterhead was clearly photocopied (it was a major airline) and I was instructed to call an 877 number. A quick Google search failed to find the owner of the phone number. The letter came from Arizona. I am seriously thinking about taking it to the Post Office for mail fraud.

Or maybe not so seriously:

No one can seem to stop those sons of slug farts from calling me ten times a day regarding lower interest rates on my credit cards, so I doubt these amateur frauds will get much attention. Besides, when it takes eight days to send a letter 73 miles*, I suspect the Postal Inspectors will get to this in about 2018.

* Yes, I could walk the distance faster than the US Post Office can send it via truck.

Let’s see if “sons of slug farts” can get any traction as a Newfangled Pejorative.


  1. fillyjonk »

    26 February 2013 · 5:23 pm

    Way back when, around 1991 or so, the Nigerian 419 scammers actually used to use the postal service. My dad got an airmail letter that essentially said “Dear American Friend in God….” and so forth. He laughed, said “Nice try, guy” and circular-filed it.

    My graduate advisor got one a few weeks later. Either he was more gullible or more money-hungry than my dad because he actually asked me, “Do you think this could be a real thing? Do you think there could be uncollected money waiting in Nigeria for me?” I just gave him my “You’ve got to be kidding” expression.

    Actually, I’d like it better if Rachel from Cardholder Services tried to contact me via the US Mail. Because then it wouldn’t interrupt me when I’m trying to practice piano.

  2. Jeffro »

    26 February 2013 · 8:42 pm

    “Slug farts”

    That has got to me smelly.

  3. Jeffro »

    26 February 2013 · 9:19 pm

    Be, not “me.”

  4. McGehee »

    27 February 2013 · 9:05 am

    Slug farts can only be heard with the sort of device that lets scientists hear Joe Biden’s thought processes. For similar reasons.

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