Jeffro’s dander is elevated by some of these goofy names they’re giving cars these days, and the most absurd of the bunch comes from der Vaterland:
[W]orst of all is the Tiguan. What in the wide wide world of sports is a Tiguan? I tell you this, I do not see the rugged Sam Elliot, all decked out in cattle drivin’ gear and wearing a pair of Colt’s finest, step up to the bar and announce “I drive a Tiguan. Anyone object???”
Sorry, don’t see that at all. Tiny Iguana is more like it. Something I’d clean from my boot heel in Central America.
Reporting from the wide wide world of sports, Nancy Friedman explains “Tiguan”:
The story Volkswagen wants us to believe is that “the people” wanted Tiguan, a blend of the German words for tiger (Tiger) and iguana (Leguan). (It’s pronounced TEE-gwan.) After all, VW is using “The people want…” as a unifying tagline for all its models, no doubt to emphasize that Volkswagen means “people’s car.” For the Tiguan, a compact SUV introduced for the 2009 model year, the tagline is “The people want to play, but they want to play nice.” (Works best when you imagine it spoken with a German accent.)
We can do that. We got used to Das Auto, didn’t we? I mean, we even survived the rebranding of the Renault 5 as “Le Car.”
And I’d prefer either of those, or even Tiguan, to the idiotic alphanumerics, or worse, the BMW hodgepodges like “X1 sDrive28i.” Were I sentenced to drive one of these — and, truth be told, if you put a gun to my head and said “Buy a Bimmer,” this would be the one — I would promptly have it professionally debadged and then relabeled “WTF,” just because.