Weedier than thou

For several years, I happily did business with one of the major national weed-control outfits, dropping them only when I realized that keeping the yard nicer was costing me a thousand dollars a year, far more than I could spare.

Two years and two-thirds the usual amount of rain later, you can actually hear the grass whine. I hunted around and found a local firm who offered me a yearly program for under $500. (If this sounds like a lot to you, keep in mind that the palatial estate at Surlywood sprawls over 11,000 square feet, more than 7,000 square feet of which is actual lawn.) I’m hoping that things will look a little better next year, or the next visit by Google Street View, whichever comes first.

And I’m hoping nopony reminds me of this:

Desert Brush took a bite of his sandwich. “If I’d known dandelions were this tasty I’d have never spent all that time trying to kill them.”

“I never understood that. Dandelions break up the monotony of grass, grass, nothing but grass, even if you’re not going to eat them.”

“It’s those crazy humans,” Brush explained. “They like the monotony of grass, grass, nothing but grass. It’s like the ideal place to live is on a golf course.”

Perhaps I need to renew my Crazy Human card.


  1. Brian J. »

    7 March 2013 · 6:14 am

    Also, you cannot make wine out of zoysia.

  2. CGHill »

    7 March 2013 · 7:06 am

    Good to know. :)

  3. fillyjonk »

    7 March 2013 · 7:29 am

    I was actually contemplating writing today about how I cannot hate dandelions, after watching some sparrows tear apart the seed heads to get the seeds.

  4. Fillyjonk's progress »

    7 March 2013 · 2:05 pm

    Can’t hate dandelions…

    I know that for a lot of people, dandelions are the enemy. Or at the very least, a sign of someone who is slovenly about their lawn and DOESN’T CARE that their weeds will “infect” the neighborhood. (Or so I’ve been told.)…

  5. CGHill »

    7 March 2013 · 2:08 pm

    There are lots of worse things in my yard than dandelions. (And on the northeast corner of the house, the little puffballs flourish, mainly because I’m too lazy to deal with the narrow strip between house and fence that they occupy.)

  6. Dan B »

    7 March 2013 · 8:03 pm

    Optimal lawn care for Oklahoma:

    Water for 20 minutes once a WEEK.
    Mow on the HIGHEST setting, and only after the grass touches your anklebone.
    Sprinkle in low-maintenance grass seed annually just before the spring rains/big snow. I got mine down just before the thundersleet/snow on February 21.

    Notice the lack of fertilizer, weed-killer, and bug-killer. And my lawn is green longer into a drought than the neighbors who water when rationing permits and sometime doesn’t. It’s not a golf course, but next week it’ll be purple with the little wildflowers when everyone else’s is either winter yellow or painted green.

  7. Nicole »

    8 March 2013 · 7:21 pm

    That’s a lotta lawn.

  8. CGHill »

    8 March 2013 · 9:52 pm

    I swear, it didn’t look that big when I wrote the check for the closing costs.

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