A few Northeastern types I met on the World Tours seemed to be surprised that I wasn’t tooling about the countryside in a proper truck like every other crimson-collared resident of the Flyover Zone. This can be explained by my failure to develop this particular syndrome:

[L]ike any guy, I hate borrowing or renting a truck when I need to move something big, such the pinball machines I collect. More importantly, the woman and I have a lot of hobbies that require hauling gear around. Packing her Mini Cooper Clubman with scuba gear for two is an advanced test of spatial reasoning skills, one which I usually flunk. That’s just an excuse, though. In truth I think I suffer from a suburban male’s mental malady, Vehicular Volumetric Capacity Anxiety. Reasonable or not, I don’t feel completely comfortable unless I have the ability to move giant things at a moment’s notice. You’ll find VVCA in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, listed with Electric Vehicle Range Anxiety and the horrifying disorder that makes people buy Land Rovers only to keep them free of mud.

Hmmm. Maybe I didn’t read DSM-IV as closely as I thought I did.


  1. fillyjonk »

    14 March 2013 · 10:32 am

    I can go you one better. Someone I knew, upon finding out I was moving here, asked me if I would be using a horse for transportation.

    Um, what?

  2. JT »

    14 March 2013 · 10:54 am

    Being in that same flyover land, I might be the strange one that has no problem renting/borrowing a larger vehicle for the 1 or 2 times per year I need it move something large. Then again, I’m the guy who regularly bends the laws of physics when I go grocery shopping at Costco with a Mini Cooper and two kids. Getting 30+mpg certainly makes it easier to justify not owning something like a Chevy Subdivision.

  3. fillyjonk »

    14 March 2013 · 10:56 am

    It’s like Homer Simpson playing Tetris with the luggage (and his family members) as he prepares to head out on vacation….

  4. Charles Pergiel »

    14 March 2013 · 4:44 pm

    I’ve dealt with six pickup trucks. The only one I really liked was a Japanese RAM (Mitsubishi D-50), and that was mostly because it was small enough to park easily. I expect I’ll keep my current truck for a while. It’s paid for, I still have to haul stuff occasionally, and I’m used to it. It is a bit of a gas hog, but I don’t drive that much these days, so it’s not such big pain.

  5. Jeffro »

    15 March 2013 · 8:47 am

    I’m sticking with the pickup format – not because I’m suffering from lack of haulage syndrome, but because I like the room. I don’t have to origami myself into the things just to get in. I carry a ton of stuff that I even occasionally use in a toolbox, too.

    Pickups are cheaper than Texas Cadillacs, too, which would also work for moi.

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