Genesis 101

Courtesy of Happy Catholic, the Top Ten ways the Bible would have been different if it had been written by college students:

10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning cold.

  9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.

  8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.

  7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria.

  6. Paul’s letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

  5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

  4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

  3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

  2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

  1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

It is not true, however, that part of those forty years in the desert was spent at Burning Man.





3 comments

  1. McGehee »

    7 May 2007 · 8:59 am

    Jesus would have turned water into beer.

  2. Dan B »

    7 May 2007 · 9:12 am

    Mary Magdalene Gone Wild!

  3. McGehee »

    7 May 2007 · 4:46 pm

    “Yea, and as the Lord ran the slicer across the pizza, he held up a slice and said, “Yo, dudes. This is my body!” And the Apostles responded, “Bod-Y! Bod-Y! Bod-Y! Bod-Y!”

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