The Twinkie report

I go grocery-shopping on Saturdays. This is explained simply enough: I work somewhere between 40 and 50 hours a week, which basically eliminates the desire to do anything functional on weekday evenings, and, well, Sunday is a day of rest, kinda sorta. The chance, therefore, that I was going to hit the shelves this past Monday to see the arrival of the New and Unimproved Hostess Twinkies — rumor had it that the totally tubular snack had been shrunk, but actually, that happened a year ago, before all the recent unpleasantness — was pretty close to nil, and the idea of going to Walmart, which started selling them the Friday before, was repellent in its own right. (This is due less to any particular animus against Walmart than to a general desire to throw some business to someone who doesn’t dominate the marketplace; Walmart sells close to half the groceries in this town.)

Today at Crest Foods, 23rd and Meridian: shelf space had been cleared and presumably at one time filled, but the cupboard was bare today except for a few boxes of Hostess CupCakes, complete with presumably trademarked BiCapitalization.

Today at Homeland, May and Britton: I saw no shelf space for Hostess products, but competitors (Little Debbie, Tastykake) were sitting on shelf caps, waiting to catch you at the end of the aisle. There were actual Twinkies and several of its brandmates on a table near the checkout lines; however, the Twinkies were in the overpriced transparent two-pack, the sort of thing you’d see in a vending machine.

So I bought no Twinkies today. I am not particularly regretful.


  1. canadienne »

    21 July 2013 · 11:04 am

    Did Aldus start the BiCaptalization thing (nice, I will have to steal that) with PageMaker or are there earlier instances? PageMaker came out in 1985.

  2. CGHill »

    21 July 2013 · 11:29 am

    “BiCapitalization” has an entry in the Jargon File, which was assembled for the first time in 1975. PostScript, included as an example, dates to ’82; EasyWriter (by Cap’n Crunch himself!) was out by 1979.

  3. canadienne »

    21 July 2013 · 12:05 pm

    Love the Jargon File, how did I miss knowing about that? Thanks for the link.

    Re: lack of cake: bake your own, it is easy and fast. Fillyjonk has a great recipe for Hot Milk Sponge Cake, which is delicious. Them Twinkies will kill you. DIY, you know what’s in it.

  4. CGHill »

    21 July 2013 · 12:51 pm

    I picked up some brownies from the in-store bakery. That should dampen my enthusiasm for the next week.

  5. canadienne »

    21 July 2013 · 2:21 pm

    It is an article of faith with me that Brownies Are Good for You.

  6. fillyjonk »

    21 July 2013 · 4:58 pm

    I’ve also seen another brand (Gansito? Mexican-owned I presume) that has a goose as its spokescreature.

    Another reason for Saturday grocery shopping: at least around here, the largest grocery store (wal-mart) resembles something out of a post-apocalyptic movie most late afternoons. (Best time to shop: before 8 am on a Saturday.)

  7. CGHill »

    21 July 2013 · 5:27 pm

    Marinela (which appears to be owned by Bimbo) has a very extensive product line.

  8. Dick Stanley »

    21 July 2013 · 5:59 pm

    Twinkies look better than they eat. They give me heartburn.

  9. CGHill »

    21 July 2013 · 7:17 pm

    I think I’ve developed a tolerance after all these years.

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