Are you kidneying me?

There are times when I fear for the sanity of the 149 members of the legislature, some more than others:

Ordinarily, if one wants a dumb legislative idea regarding crime and punishment in my fair state, one must rely on the Grand Old Party. They’ve got a flap-brained contingent that’s always willing to take a look at doing something to criminals that makes Theodoric of York, medieval judge, say, “Dial it down a bit, eh?”

But we are bi-partisan in our silliness, and comes now the latest proof, state representative Joe Dorman of Rush Springs, home of the Rush Springs Watermelon Festival. Rep. Dorman, one of the few Democrats surviving in state government these days, wants to introduce legislation that will allow death row inmates to donate their organs when their sentences are carried out.

Well, actually, this depends on what the meaning of the word “when” is:

[C]urrent acceptable methods of execution wreck several of the body’s major organs at once and degrade their viability for transfer. That’s where Rep. Dorman borrows from [Larry] Niven, as instead of being killed by lethal injection an inmate being executed would instead be anesthetized and the needed pieces removed before brain death occurred. So technically, Rep. Dorman, you’re suggesting organs be harvested from living people. That sound you heard was Christian Szell saying, “Ew.”

I’d suggest harvesting organs from legislators, but that brain-death issue would still be a factor.


  1. JT »

    8 November 2013 · 11:29 pm

    With the legislators, you’d probably end up with alcohol preserved livers, dead brains, and severely damaged skeletons from all the bending over they do for their big donors.

  2. McGehee »

    9 November 2013 · 7:55 am

    Nobody wonders why lawmakers are unconcerned about a zombie apocalypse.

  3. Tatyana »

    9 November 2013 · 8:47 am

    Why act surprised? It’s a natural progression, for a lefty socialist under the publicly-acceptable fig leaf of “D” to continue in their predecessors’ National Socialists of Germany footsteps.

  4. fillyjonk »

    9 November 2013 · 10:32 am

    Wasn’t there a movie (or perhaps, a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode) about someone getting a transplant from a death-row patient and it turning them evil?

    I dunno. There’s a considerable “ick” factor there for me. Mainly in the question of “Was this REALLY the inmate’s free choice, or were they compelled” but also the idea that it was harvested from a living person who was shortly thereafter made dead.

    Than again, I’ve never desperately needed a replacement heart; in that case, I might feel differently. Then again, I might not.

  5. CGHill »

    9 November 2013 · 11:19 am

    I recall a Treehouse of Horror bit in which Snake was executed and Homer somehow wound up with Snake’s hair, though the memory persists mostly because of the title: “Hell Toupee.”

  6. fillyjonk »

    9 November 2013 · 11:23 am

    I think that was the one. Little tendrils of evil growing into Homer’s brain.

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