This weekly feature is produced by sorting through tons and tons of raw materials, looking for something that can be refined, and then enhancing it through careful utilization of snarkistry. We keep hoping the world can be persuaded to pay us to do this — or to pay us not to do this. We’re not finicky.
“how it’s hanging”: I suspect it has something to do with being suspended at the top.
ROBELLO KOMBI MADE IN C: Actually, it was E-flat, but somehow it sounded too shrill. I blame CAPS LOCK.
have anyone been using quickfade tattoo removing gel: Just the invisible girl over there. At least, I think she’s over there.
invisible manga porno: Not at all sponsored by Quickfade Tattoo Removing Gel.
he’s not what i thought he was: Yeah, but you voted for him just the same.
ford telstar v6 automatic gearbox whining sound: It might not be the transmission at all, but the owner of the Ford in question, once presented with the bill for the rebuild.
did stephanie zimbalist ever get hurt doing her own stunts: A mild case of heartbreak, perhaps.
jayne mansfield’s head on car: We don’t sell hood ornaments here. Try Pep Boys.
verjin refloration: Are you sure you know what you’re asking? Try Pep Boys.
The stoplight had just changed and a 20000 kg. Cadillac had entered the intersection north at 3.0 m/s when it was struck by a 1000kg eastbound Volkswagen: Whereupon the VW driver was shot to death by the Secret Service, since the only 20-ton Cadillac in operation was the Presidential limousine, as outfitted by Pep Boys.