Marked for renaming

Just yesterday morning, I screamed in the general direction of Detroit:

No more farging alphanumerics. Leave that to the Germans and to the Japanese wannabes. Bring “Eldorado” out of the trademark closet, if you have to. This car deserves better than three random consonants.

This blast, of course, was aimed at Cadillac. Now Lincoln doesn’t do three random consonants: they do M plus K plus one random consonant. But even Lincoln can see the light if it’s reflected from the mysterious East:

Should Ford’s VP of Global Marketing Jim Farley have his way — and you happen to also be a resident of China — the next Lincoln to be sold may have a real name upon its backside once more.

Why? The Blue Oval plans to reintroduce Lincoln to the Chinese market, who still remembers when many a government official and president turned up in a Continental; this may also explain in part why the lead car in the funeral for North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il was a Lincoln, if not how it got there in the first place.

Dictatorships, I seem to recall, don’t worry a great deal about official procurement.

Still, this is a China-only thing for now:

Farley believes the concept of non-alphanumeric nomenclatures is worth revisiting, though no current model will receive a proper name for the foreseeable future. Until then, Lincoln’s customer base will continue to need to remember which MK is the right MK for them, unless they want a Navigator, of course.

If you ask me, Lincoln lost its way at the exact point when (1) it had the temerity to introduce an actual pickup and (2) failed to name it the “Town Truck.”







3 comments

  1. Mark Alger »

    30 November 2013 · 8:12 am

    Apparently, at Lincoln’s ad agencies, at least, they appear to have retired the generation which knows that “MK” is the abbreviation for “Mark”. I, for one, remember the redoubtable Mark III. (That’s “three,” folks, not “eye-eye-eye.”)

    M

  2. McGehee »

    30 November 2013 · 9:11 am

    I’m fairly sure a Lincoln MKVD wouldn’t sell well in Russia.

  3. CGHill »

    30 November 2013 · 10:47 am

    This whole Mark thing, if you ask me, is still not as preposterous as Infiniti’s Let’s Call Everything Q. The least they could do is hire John de Lancie to do voiceovers.

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