Sub-rosa spaceway

He’s not saying that they’re aliens, mind you, but — oh, wait, he is saying that they’re aliens:

It’s not necessarily shocking to hear somebody claim that at least four different species of aliens have visited the Earth, for thousands of years. But it is somewhat more shocking when that person was once in charge of much of Canada’s military, Paul Hellyer. In a wild interview with Russia Today, the former Canadian Minister of National Defense said that aliens would give us more technology if we would be less warlike. As it is, they are concerned about the effects our nukes might have on the universe.

And apparently the visits have become more frequent since Hiroshima:

There has been more alien activity since the first nuclear bombs were detonated in 1945, he said. “They are very much afraid we might be stupid enough to start using atomic weapons again and that would be very bad for us and them as well.” If we were more peaceful, they would be more willing to share their technology with us, he said. According to his website, in September 2005 Hellyer “became the first person of cabinet rank in the G8 group of countries to state unequivocally ‘UFO’s are as real as the airplanes flying overhead.'”

Klaatu was not available for comment.

Incidentally, Hellyer, if asked, will tell you that the most important issue of the age is monetary reform; perhaps the Canadian dollar will soon be convertible to quatloos.

(Via this Jennifer Ouellette tweet.)







5 comments

  1. McGehee »

    8 January 2014 · 12:20 pm

    aliens would give us more technology if we would be less warlike. As it is, they are concerned about the effects our nukes might have on the universe.

    Apparently he didn’t realize that The Day the Earth Stood Still wasn’t a documentary.

    Less dreamy-eyed thinkers (1) know that we don’t have enough nukes, and probably never will, to damage more than the surface of our own planet, and even then the damage would heal eventually, and (2) have concluded that the traits that drive the evolution of intelligence make it far more likely that aliens that want us to be less warlike are merely hoping for an easier conquest.

    The “Twilight Zone” episode about the cookbook is far more likely, in other words.

  2. canadienne »

    8 January 2014 · 2:42 pm

    Wow, haven’t heard about Paul Hellyer in years. He’s in his 90’s now, didn’t realize that after being a Liberal and a Conservative, he was now expanding his interests to extraterrestrial politics. According to his Wikipedia entry he claims there are two extraterrestrials working for the U.S. government.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Hellyer

  3. canadienne »

    8 January 2014 · 4:56 pm

    Quatloos? I have been using Flanian Pobble Beads.

  4. Charles Pergiel »

    8 January 2014 · 5:03 pm

    I for one am not surprised that aliens are living among us. What does surprise me however is that (1) anyone would recognize them as a lifeform, and (2) they would recognize us as one. They could be walking down the street and you would not see them because they would be ALIEN, much like native americans didn’t recognize the Columbus’s ships when they appeared. They had no concept of such a thing.
    Anyway I doubt that our planet will appeal to any E.T.s, on account of being too hot/cold/oxygenated/nitrogenated/mosquitos. Whatever, they aren’t going to like it, much less want it. Now if we can be coerced into providing di-lithium crystals, well, that might be an issue.

  5. CGHill »

    8 January 2014 · 5:35 pm

    On a hunch, I Googled up “nitrogenated mosquitoes,” and there’s a paper about it:

    Adult mosquito production was nine-fold greater and chironomid larvae were significantly more abundant in wetlands enriched with NH4-N than in controls but other censused taxa exhibited no significant trends. Mosquitofish, Gambusia affinis (Baird & Girard), abundance was significantly reduced in enriched wetlands, but other potential mosquito predators were not significantly affected by ammonium enrichment.

    Which is an argument for keeping one’s damn fertilizer away from the wetlands.

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