Could have been a real clusterbox

There is such a thing as discretion. This isn’t it:

Oklahoma City police arrested a man after several children reported seeing him walking to his mailbox naked.

The fellow wasn’t exactly contrite:

When officers arrived at the scene, they spoke with the suspect, 68-year-old Hillard Stallings, at his house. Stallings told officers that he was a registered sex offender, but he refused to give them his ID.

According to the report, officers then contacted the Sex Crimes Unit, and they stated that if Stallings came outside, the officers could arrest him. However, police said Stallings was very rude and did not want to talk to the officers.

He then escalated to Pervcon 3:

About five minutes after they spoke to Stallings, the officer said he saw a 14-year-old boy standing in front of Stallings’ house, looking toward the front door.

When the officer got closer, he said he saw Stallings outside his house, “shaking his penis and thrusting his hips out” towards the boy, according to the report.

If you insist on retrieving your mail in your birthday suit, you probably need to live in an older part of town: my mail, for instance, is shoved through a slot in the garage door.

And the time to discover that you fancy 14-year-olds is not when you’re pushing seventy.







3 comments

  1. canadienne »

    9 March 2014 · 1:40 pm

    Hm, Canada Post is stopping home delivery over the next few years. I wonder if naked people walking to their mailboxes will be an unintended consequence of this change.

  2. canadienne »

    9 March 2014 · 1:42 pm

    Although now that I think if it, the weather will deter them in most of the country for most of the year. We have this saying about brass monkeys…

  3. CGHill »

    9 March 2014 · 2:25 pm

    Which probably explains why they so seldom reproduce. The monkeys, I mean.

    There are dedicated Canadian naturists — I get the occasional mailing from FCN — but most of their facilities shut down in the dead of winter for reasons one need not explain.

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