How about in your face instead?

This was the title: “#1 Anti-Aging Tip As seen on CNN ABC — CBS”. Of course, that gave the game away right away: the only anti-aging tip CNN has given is “Don’t be on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370,” and who’s going to believe those other guys anyway? Not anyone who has successfully resisted aging, you damn betcha.

The scheme was, I concede, semi-clever: they sent you two broken-image links, followed by “If you cannot see the images below, click here,” which of course gives them confirmation that hey, we’ve got a live one here. (Clicking on the broken-image icon has the same effect.) There followed, hidden away, this piece of unrelated household information:

A serving of legumes a day may keep bad cholesterol at bay, a new study has found.

Researchers in the United States and Canada have found that daily consumption of non-oil-seed legumes — like chickpeas, lentils or peas — can significantly reduce “bad cholesterol” and cut the risk of heart disease.

And so on, for about ten paragraphs. I assume this is “unrelated” because of the sender’s claimed domain, which contains the word “phytoceramides.” Now a ceramide is a waxy lipid, and “phyto-” implies plant origins. At this point I felt, well, insulted: are there no vendors of snake oil who actually use proper snakes anymore?


  1. fillyjonk »

    14 April 2014 · 7:47 am

    Perhaps the substance in question is made from apples and beet leaves.

  2. CGHill »

    14 April 2014 · 7:59 am

    Hmmm. Maybe it will improve my swimming ability.

  3. fillyjonk »

    14 April 2014 · 12:16 pm

    Small confession: I actually considered buying some beet tops at the store to try out the flavor of the Flim and Flam Special Smoothie. But then I decided that the last salad I got that had baby beet greens in it sent me to Food Defcon 4 (run to trash to spit out), so I decided not to waste my money.

    beet greens taste preternaturally bitter to me.

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