Rack and a half

We’ve dealt with fictional or Photoshopped triple-breasted women before. The idea that someone might actually aspire to this state — well, see for yourself:

Jasmine Tridevil

We are not making this up:

An American woman has claimed to have had a third breast surgically added to her chest.

The 21-year-old, who calls herself Jasmine Tridevil, wants to be a reality star.

She posts videos of her daily life in Tampa, Florida, on Facebook to “show the struggles she faces because of her surgery.”

“Reality star” jumped the shark years ago; it appears to have doubled back and taken another spring. And hey, how many of those struggles would you be facing if you hadn’t added extra bewbage?

Oh, it gets better:

Tridevil has also claimed she had the surgery because she didn’t want to appear as attractive to men.

In one of the videos, she said: “I got the surgery because I wanted to turn off guys. I know it sounds crazy but I don’t want to date again ever. I still like to feel pretty.”

Now we’ve had this discussion before:

Question: would a man be more turned on or weirded out by a third mammary?

Answer: I suspect most would be squicked out, though you may be assured that a certain number would be utterly delighted with the prospect. (Rule 34 would seem to support this premise.)

That said, some of the latter group, were they presented with the genuine article, as distinguished from mere fanfiction and photo manips, might well flee in terror.

And three in a row is more appealing, I’m inclined to think, than any triangular arrangement. Then again, that may be just me.

I watched her video, which runs a little under a minute; I might have dealt with it better if she hadn’t used Radiohead’s “Creep” for background music. And unfortunately for my particular worldview, she has fairly nice legs.

Now to sit back and wait for the “Hoax!” announcements. Please tell me there will be “Hoax!” announcements.

Update: Snopes is on the case.





17 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    22 September 2014 · 1:02 pm

    This is where my desire to let people do what they will, as long as it’s not hurting anyone runs up against my desire to feel that I’m not living in a deeply weird and creepy world. So conflicted.

    I’m just hoping no one decides to top this by going for the full-on udder effect.

  2. Roger Green »

    22 September 2014 · 1:17 pm

    NOT sexy. Call me a bigot, but I just prefer those two-breasted women.

  3. McGehee »

    22 September 2014 · 3:02 pm

    I’ve only got two hands!

  4. backwoods conservative »

    22 September 2014 · 3:46 pm

    She could attend a masquerade party in the nude and claim that she went as a pawn shop.

  5. McGehee »

    22 September 2014 · 4:25 pm

    She could add two more and get a job as a Newton’s cradle.

  6. CGHill »

    22 September 2014 · 9:26 pm

    I caught her on a radio interview. Your tool shed contains sharper instruments.

    And if at some point she decides to date again, she’s going to have to puzzle over whether the object of her affections is interested primarily in her or in her hardware mods.

  7. fillyjonk »

    23 September 2014 · 9:36 am

    ” Your tool shed contains sharper instruments.”

    Sadly, I’m not terribly surprised. (I’m guessing that what these types of stories all have in common is a lack of imagination when it comes to envisioning future consequences. If anything, I am TOO good at envisioning future consequences and therefore will live a boring, responsible life. I don’t even have any tattoos. Or piercings. Not even ears.)

  8. McGehee »

    23 September 2014 · 9:49 am

    So you’re saying the reasons she isn’t qualified to work as a Newton’s cradle aren’t limited to her having too few breasts?

  9. fillyjonk »

    23 September 2014 · 2:17 pm

    Apparently, Snopes has declared this one a “falsie.”

    Heh. I slay myself sometimes.

  10. CGHill »

    23 September 2014 · 3:36 pm

    Snopes handled this astutely, I thought: they put the story out first as “Undetermined,” and when they were satisfied with the level of bogosity, they simply updated the page.

  11. backwoods conservative »

    23 September 2014 · 3:46 pm

    It’s just as well. I’m not looking for a woman with extra boobs, I’m looking for a woman with extra brain cells.

  12. fillyjonk »

    23 September 2014 · 6:31 pm

    One of the best comments on the whole mess, from The Mary Sue:

    Commenter A: “What kind of doctor would DO that surgery?”
    Commenter B: “Hiiiiiiiiii, everybody!”

  13. jsallison »

    23 September 2014 · 7:04 pm

    The mutant on Total Recall, either version, did it better and didn’t work for me then. She’s safe from me.

  14. CGHill »

    23 September 2014 · 7:37 pm

    Good old Dr. Nick. And he would, too.

  15. robohara »

    24 September 2014 · 4:32 pm

    Her claims of having the surgery to “avoid dating” never held water. I got turned down by pretty much every girl in high school. All of them were of the “two-boobed” variety.

    While a few holes showed up in her story (questions that involved “who” and “why”), the damning evidence now appears to be a claim for lost luggage in Florida. One item that was claimed missing was a “triple-breast prosthetic.”

    The saddest part is, it’s now more possible than ever that she’ll end up on a reality show.

  16. CGHill »

    24 September 2014 · 5:25 pm

    Yeah, I saw that. On Facebook, she’s now asserting that she has three implants, which is not completely inconsistent with that finding.

    People want to be famous. Some of them do, anyway, and they wouldn’t care if there were a separate section of hell set aside just for Kardashians.

  17. fillyjonk »

    25 September 2014 · 9:53 am

    Honestly, she probably shoulda gone for the brain implant instead.

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