Comfort is for closers

“If you liked it,” declared Beyoncé, “then you should have put a ring on it.” It’s a sentiment Robert Stacy McCain can appreciate, having observed some very likable types who were nonetheless ringless:

They kept wasting time in “relationships” with men who refused to close the deal. These romantic involvements would last anywhere from a few months to several years, and it was always — always — the guy’s aversion to a permanent commitment that prevented these relationships from becoming marriages. The real problem, it seems to me, is not merely the widespread phenomenon of “Peter Pan Syndrome,” but that (a) young women unwittingly enable such male immaturity because (b) they miscalculate the economics of love, and therefore (c) they waste one of a woman’s most valuable resources, her youth.

How this works:

If you graduate college at 22, you have eight years before you turn 30. Those are very valuable years. However smart, beautiful and nice she may be, a woman is more attractive to the average male when she’s 22 than when she’s 30. You can complain that this double standard that places a premium on female youthfulness is unfair, but you can’t avoid the fact that it is nevertheless real. A woman who is very attractive may think she can defy the odds and that it will be no problem for her to find Mister Right when she’s 30, but what if she’s wrong? She fritters away her 20s in a series of pointless relationships — six months with this guy, two years with that guy, etc. — and before she even notices the pattern, the clock is ticking down.

Similarly, the smart, beautiful and nice Garfunkel and Oates [NSFW]:

Of course, anything I would have to say on the subject would be totally irrelevant.





1 comment

  1. JT »

    5 February 2015 · 9:22 pm

    Finally got married (what the hell was I thinking?) when I was 34, but not for lack of trying a couple of serious relationships. First one in my 20s in college turned out to be a creepy Daddy’s girl (aka, she wanted to marry someone exactly like her dad, which was pretty creepy). Fortunately, she later went through 3 disappointing marriages (not that would gloat, but I did). Second one turned out to be extremely needy in so many ways it was frightening. Dodged a serious bullet with that one – I believe the term is psycho hose-beast.

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