We don’t even have a Beltway

An idea from Randy Rager:

Washington D.C. should be turned into a giant prison, and the capitol should be moved to Oklahoma City, but that’s a discussion for another day.

Top Ten ways the government would be different if the capitol were moved to Oklahoma City:

  1. Supreme Court fall session begins after the football season
  2. Congress gets a cost-of-living decrease
  3. K Street lobbyists lined up on 23rd
  4. New “Capitol Oaks” subdivision in Edmond
  5. Ted Kennedy could see some really deficient bridges
  6. World Bank opens branch in Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market
  7. Mary Fallin demoted from Representative to Delegate, takes six months to notice
  8. A Congressman’s girlfriend jumps into the Bricktown Canal in the dead of night
  9. Maryland refuses to take back the District of Columbia
  10. Finally, funding for the Gary England Monument

Not to discourage them or anything.





12 comments

  1. trumwill »

    4 July 2007 · 2:51 pm

    I’ve long been an advocate of moving the capital to nowhere, Nebraska. Putting them out in the fields would make being a congressman a less glamorous job, which I think would be a good thing overall.

  2. MikeSwi... »

    4 July 2007 · 5:05 pm

    Some serious people have actually come up with ideas for virtual sessions of both houses of Congress. They would physically meet only for a few days – and only committees would meet (physically) together. It sounds strange, but gathering our entire legislative branch of government in one building is a security nightmare in the age of rogue enemies. Not to mention the benefits of our representatives being based at home rather than the power-hungry beltway. Happy 4th of July, Chaz!

  3. McGehee »

    4 July 2007 · 7:09 pm

    I think Congress should meet on an ice floe off the coast at Barrow, Alaska.

    In April.

  4. Gradual Dazzle »

    4 July 2007 · 7:39 pm

    Gary England… my mother used to WORSHIP that man. I’m 40 years old and watched him deliver the weather radar back when I was six or seven years old — before anyone else anywhere was doing TV radar pictures. He was TEH BOMB.

    He told us about a tornado in Norman and we got to safety just as the funnel swirled over our heads.

  5. CGHill »

    4 July 2007 · 8:12 pm

    And apparently he’s notable enough for Wikipedia.

  6. Dwayne "the canoe guy" »

    4 July 2007 · 11:07 pm

    So is Jonah Hex, and he’s not real.

  7. Deb »

    5 July 2007 · 5:43 am

    Gary Englund. You guys are making me homesick.

  8. CGHill »

    5 July 2007 · 7:02 am

    Wait a minute. Jonah Hex isn’t real?

    Sheesh.

  9. Dan B »

    5 July 2007 · 9:00 am

    K Street lobbyists … 23rd Street panhandlers … hmmm, I wonder who wins this fight ;}

  10. Dwayne "the canoe guy" »

    5 July 2007 · 12:03 pm

    Oh, Chaz, I’m sorry, Jonah Hex IS real. He’s as real as the hopes and dreams of all little kids who wish to be wild west bounty hunters. And he will forever be real, as long as visions of gunfights and hangings take root and flower in the fertile loam that are the dreams of a child.

    Note to self: Don’t talk to Chaz about good Mexican food in Canada since that doesn’t exist either.

  11. Dan Lovejoy »

    5 July 2007 · 1:28 pm

    Well, Gary England could keep our congresscritters safe.

  12. Dan B »

    5 July 2007 · 3:26 pm

    Well, Gary England could keep our congresscritters safe.

    … but SHOULD he?

    I’d opt to send the Congresscritters to NW 12th & I-35 during the next tornado outbreak, but that’s just me. (03 May 1999 & 08 May 2003 tornadoes BOTH hit that area.)

RSS feed for comments on this post