Mount this, pal

You don’t see General Motors complaining about the name of that mountain in Alaska, do you?

[T]his most American of vehicles is named after a mountain in a park in a state that wasn’t even a state until after the Korean War. Nobody goes there, although it’s possible to be short-roped up the thing the same way the socialites are dragged up the side of Everest. I have no idea what the terrain around Denali looks like and neither do you. What matters is that it represents something beyond civilization:

“But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.”

That’s what Denali is: the territory ahead that we will never reach. Instead, we’ll stay at the office for another evening of forcible civilization and Starbucks. It’s all the better for being essentially useless and inhospitable, because that helps it remain just an idea and not a place you’d use your NetJets share to visit on a long weekend.

And after all, this sort of naming scheme for automobiles has been around for a long time, though certainly the ill-fated Lincoln Versailles has been forgotten by now.

After the mountain was Denali, but before it became Denali again, it was something else entirely:

No wonder, then, that the mountain is being renamed. We don’t deserve a Mount McKinley. McKinley was a winner. He protected American jobs and saved the economy and won a war and picked up Hawaii while he was at it. And when he died, the man he agreed to take as vice-president did a pretty decent job, too. We couldn’t use a guy like that nowadays; wouldn’t know what to do with him. So it’s perfectly reasonable to change Mount McKinley back to Mount Denali. Maybe Rainier will change back to Tacoma before you know it. That’s been in the works since 1921 or so, and it makes more sense. And it would free the name of Rainier to find its natural home: on the side of upscale Enclaves. Enclave Rainier. You know it makes sense. What better way to celebrate a class of vehicles, and of owners, that never looks up from the quotidian to the mountain, or, indeed, anything at all?

Buick, home of the Enclave, was — briefly — home of the Rainier. So all this stuff fits together far better than it has any right to.





3 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    3 September 2015 · 2:17 pm

    Maybe some years into the future there will be a fun novelty song about how Mt. McKinley is Denali now, and if you have a date for climbing on McKinley, she’ll be waiting on Denali.

  2. CGHill »

    3 September 2015 · 2:36 pm

    Nobody’s business but the jerks’.

  3. McGehee »

    4 September 2015 · 8:50 am

    In 25 years it’ll be Mount Trump anyway.

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